On the Bright Side

Sometimes, all I seem to think about is the depressing side of things, so maybe I should make a list (I do really like, or "lunch" lists) of happy things:

1. I have really great friends that are there for me and can tell when things aren't totally right and that always try to help
2. I have a job and even though most of the time, I am tired and don't really want to go to work, I do enjoy the residents. I mean where else can you find someone that likes onions on her cottage cheese and someone who always wants toast (and I know what kind of bread she likes better)
3. My grades in high school are pretty good (not counting Senior Math, that's not going so well), so I actually don't have that bad of GPA, for only having 5 high school classes
4. I have a kitten on my lap right now and she is so adorable
5. I have a mother who loves and supports me and a brother who still makes me laugh
6. I am alive and even though I am dying, I have a Savior who makes dying actually a happy thing
   

College Choices are Making Me Have an Inability to Breath

It was a weird thing that happened yesterday. I was driving home from Aberdeen with my mother (we had just taken Kyle back to college) and so my mother and I were talking about what I am going to do for college. Then I had a really hard time breathing. It felt like my throat was closing up. It was really creepy. That plus I was starting to cry probably made for not ideal driving conditions. But why such not happy reactions when talking about my college plans? Because I have no idea what I am going to do for sure.

I preached the morning service yesterday. I can't say that I actually did that well. After all, I was preaching on death and one congregation member couldn't stop laughing. Anyway, it wasn't the best job I have ever done. But, it is over now.

I woke up late this morning and had a really horrible dream. Like, I woke up and tears were still coming down my face. That's the kind of horrible it was.

Anyway, I should go get ready for school, because apparently being on time is an important thing.

Death and Ice Cream Trucks

I figured out how to wake up when my alarm goes off, instead of my normal sleeping a half hour past my alarm. All I need to do is just accidentally shut my kitten in my room for the entire night. That's sad that I didn't realize she was in my room until 6:00, but I am sure most of the night she was just sleeping under my bed. She got shots yesterday and that really wore her out. Of course, I think she has more energy now, because she's currently playing with my headphones.

I had a weird dream last night. Not that I am going to tell you all about it, but I will say that it involved a prayer meeting and an ice cream truck that turned into an ice cream cart when it came closer. (And the ice cream was free, but I was encouraged to get a $5 donation to some couple... which may mean that I have been involved in too many fundraisers in my day that I am subconsciously dreaming about this.)

Anyway, right now, I will have to go get ready for the day, but I am slowly getting my sermon together, so I have a question for you all:

What do you know about death?

(P.S. That reminds me of John's little song in the tune of Iron Man and it goes like, "I am the ice cream man, running over little kids with my van." Sorry, I just thought of that. Answer my question now.)

Missing Trailer

Missing Trailer from Chase Johnson on Vimeo.

I Vote Yes to Skirts

"Let it be known, far and wide- You are completely and utterly free to wear skirts! I give you full permission to be as feminine and attractive as you like! [...] There’s something about them, that delightful thrill you get when it’s swishing around your calves, or when the man nearby recognizes the fact that you are a lady and kindly opens the door for you, or when you feel so flattered by it’s graceful lines…it’s always fitting, always appropriate." -Christa Taylor [source]

I love skirts and I totally find it tragic that no one seems to just wear skirts casually. I did stats and was a student manager for the girls' basketball team last year just so I could dress up for school. (You see, you dress up on game days.) I absolutely hate basketball and don't really enjoy doing the stats, but getting to dress up made it all worth it. Now, this year, since you couldn't possibly pay me enough to do stats again, I won't have a reason to dress up. However, I really am a fan of skirts. They make me super happy. And so, I vote yes... to skirts.

I Make Decisions Like a Donkey Would

I can't make decisions. In fact, I am so bad, that I am a lot like a donkey.

"A hungry donkey approaches a barn one day looking for hay and discovers two haystacks of identical size at the two opposite ends of the barn. The donkey stands in the middle of the barn between the two haystacks, not knowing which to select. Hours go by, but he still can't make up his mind. Unable to decide, the donkey eventually dies of starvation." -[source]

I did learn about this donkey thing in Biology, which is why, I enjoy that class, even though I have never actually done well in science ever.

Speaking of that class today, it is Homecoming and so today is Mix-Match Day and I have to go to the college today looking like a total retard in mix-matched clothes.

Not Even Getting a New Purse Would Make Things Better

I am not talented and I am not popular. But, let me go into detail.

I am not talented. My brother is amazing, he made a totally kickin' yearbook and there's no way that I could ever match his mad skills. He is just way better at that kind of stuff. Of course, I choose to be in journalism the year after him, so I could never possibly match his greatness. That just makes me realize that I am not that great of writer (so why would I go into Mass Communications? Obviously it'd be something I would be no good at). Seriously, I have no original thoughts. The only good short story that I have ever written I was given the idea by a friend and I just googled it and now realized how incredibly more pathetic I am, because I have been thinking sock gnomes are a new thing and apparently everyone else has seemed to know about them already. And, and, and. MNU doesn't want me. Not that a college should really be like begging people to come there, but I don't know what I am going to do. Jeremy really seems to be the only one that thinks I am at all talented. And I enjoy preaching, but I am not really extremely talented when it comes to that. I mean, again, I don't really have very many orginial ideas. I am not very creative. And by not very, I mean not at all.

I am not popular. Not that popularity in high school matters a whole bunch in the grand scheme of things, but I am not populary. I don't drive a cool car. I don't have pretty hair. I know it doesn't matter and I wasn't thinking that I was going to (which explains why I didn't even vote for myself), but I didn't get on the homecoming court. And who cares really? I don't really like any underclassmen (there are some I like, so if you are reading this, don't worry, you're one of my friends), so why should they like me? Anyway, I am so not cool. I don't know how to talk to people. I am quiet, but I hate being quiet, but I don't ever know what to say to be not quiet and so everyone thinks that I am quiet all the time. Which really isn't true, I mean, just look how I ramble on and on here, I am sure I could ramble like this in person, just try me sometime when I am really angry or on the brink of depression, like I am now. And why am I posting this? Honestly, who cares? Who cares what is going on with me? I am not popular enough for anyone to care.

And I do not text too much.

Man, when it rains, it pours.

I've Only Been a High School Senior for a Month

or

Olivet decided to throw a wrench into my college making decisions. My mind was already made up, until I realized that my mind shouldn't already be made up and I should keep my options open. And at first I was like, "This scholarship isn't a sure thing." My mom looked at me and said, "Yes, it is." How come Olivet wants me when MNU doesn't really seem to care at all?