I'm Living to Shine On

I spoke in youth group tonight. As far as some people's standards it probably wasn't that good. I didn't really have notes besides two things I read off of pieces of paper. I didn't really have any organized plans or thoughts, so it was really just God's message tonight. I noticed something about myself while I was speaking, even when I am nervous, there are times when my voice is still calm and confident, which is totally misleading because I was freaking out. I really like having plans and being prepared. However, sometimes God doesn't call you to be planned or prepared, sometimes God just calls you to follow His lead.

Tomorrow I am having coffee with Pastor. My mother wasn't invited because he thinks my mother does all the talking in a conversation between him, my mother, and me. Which isn't really true, but I can see why people think that. Anyway, my mother isn't invited. So, Pastor will probably ask me how I am doing. It's weird when people ask you how you are doing because you always seem to give the obvious answer. I don't know why, maybe because you don't want people to know you aren't okay or you don't really want to explain why you aren't okay. Usually I am the latter. It's not that I am not okay, I just don't have a joy.

Yeah, this is just another one of those posts that don't tell you much besides that I am alive.

Here's some music to celebrate my life:

House of Heroes "In the Valley of the Dying Sun" from Endeavor Media Group on Vimeo.