These are the Kind of Conversations I Have

This morning...
Me: It feels like Tuesday.
My mom just kind of looks at me like I am crazy: It is Tuesday.
Me: Oh, I thought it was Wednesday. Then it feels like Wednesday.

On Saturday, at the nursing home:
Nursing Home Resident Lady: Do you have a boyfriend?
I laugh, and say: No, I don't.
Nursing Home Resident Lady: Good. You don't need one. They take up too much time and we need you here.