Deadly Sprinkles

Here's a story of a family
Who was busy making Christmas cook-ies
They all had yummy sprinkles
Until the one day when the daugh-ter realized (do-do)
That all this time they'd been using sprinkles (do-do)
with acetic acid and silver
And all this time it said Non-Edible
If they only--knew (dada-dada)
That this time these sprinkles could have been kill--ing us
The deadly sprinkles (dada-dada)
The deadly sprinkles (dada-dada)
And that's the way we all died of deadly sprinkles (dada-dada)

That is sung to the tune of the Brady Bunch. (Use your imagination.) Now, if only this were just a catchy new song. But, alas, it is not. My mother and I made cookies today, only to find that sprinkles we'd been using and eating for pretty much my whole entire life were, indeed, non-edible. See for yourself: