Quick Up-a-ma-date

I thought I would do a quick update, because for those of you who are addicted to anything, you know you have to feed the addiction. I could be addicted to worse things than blogging, so I figure I am alright.

Mom and I are going to Aberdeen today. We are out of eggs and other staples.

Witticism is a word. Did you know that? It is my new favorite word.

From My Uncle Jim

Recently, I got a letter from my uncle Jim. (Click on it to read it, but read this first.) I wasn't expecting it, although I did send out support letters for my Africa trip. (I am going with a group from my church to South Africa in July for ten days; it does come with a large price tag, so I was encouraged by someone to send out support letters.) I should probably explain first that this is my dad's brother. Even though I send out letters to every relative on my dad's side, I wasn't expecting anything (and am not expecting anything from anyone else). You see, if you don't know me very well, my parents are separated. My dad has been really distant and not a part of the last 6 years of my life. Everyone on my dad's side of the family has said they haven't taken sides, but they don't keep in touch with me. I have sent letters to my grandma and aunt, but even when they visit, they don't come over. They came to a play I was in and as soon as it got over, they were the first ones out the door. So, no one on that side of the family is a part of my life much right now. That's why I was happy about this letter. It was unexpected. He doesn't have much money of his own, but he sent me some money still. I really appreciated this letter and found it quite hilarious. I don't agree with everything he says, so don't think that his views are mine, because they aren't. If you giggle a lot while reading it, then my goal was accomplished. My mother and I both laughed while reading this. (And you don't even have to know him to find it funny, because honestly, I hardly know him myself.) It was nice to hear from him. It was nice to know that at least some of my relatives support me.

(P.S. Rev Ike? Tell me that isn't funny.)

Throwback Thursday (Strawberry Dress)

Yay for strawberry dresses and weird faces. (I have no idea what was the cause of my brother's and my odd facial expression. And no, I don't think I can make my face like that anymore.)

Menial Day-to-Day Happenings

As far as eventful things happening in my life, not much is going on. However, when it comes to menial and slightly pathetic things, many happenings are happening. Take this morning, I was done with my shower and noticed a small bug on my shoulder. Why, yes, ladies and gents, I have gotten my first tick of the season. Good thing I have a dog, or else my getting a tick despite my never going outside would be odd. I hate ticks. Not as much as my brother, he is just paranoid when it comes to ticks.

I went downtown (or uptown, if someone would like to explain the difference to me) with my mother and grandmother today. It was actually a lot of fun. My grandma just talks to everyone. I am not sure if that is because of her age (she is old) or her personality (she talks to people a lot). It was funny. My mother also just randomly talks to complete strangers, telling them details of her life that I don't think they really care about. I don't know if I should say, "behold, my future," though, because I do say random things, but I don't think I am outgoing at all. So, the strangers I meet in the future are lucky, because I will never tell them why I have a cat.

My body aches. For some odd reason, I thought it would be a good idea to start lifting weights with my brother. It has only been two days now. I will admit it is a nice bonding time with my brother, but I am weak and pathetic, so I am in pain. Whatever, summers makes me want to be healthier. Plus, I am a little sick of the pathetic state I have been in for the last almost 17 years of my life. Enough is enough people. But my body aches nonetheless.

Do you know what word I really like? Nevertheless. It makes me happy inside.

Unsend Button

Why didn't anyone invent the "unsend" button? You know, when you realize you didn't really want to send that email? I think it would come in handy. There is a lot of smart people out there... someone go make it happen.

Broccoli, Short Sermons, and A.D.D.-Filled Meetings

I am currently snacking on some dinner mints. Not because I just eat dinner, which is apparently the largest meal in the day. I only ate leftover Subway for lunch, so hopefully that isn't the biggest meal of my day. I do, however, know how to snack healthy. Okay not, but I have been enjoying a lot of vegetables lately. I discovered that broccoli is probably my favorite. Which is weird, considering that most kids are usually like forced to eat their broccoli.

So, I preached Sunday night. And as per request, I suppose I shouldn't just not say how it went. I didn't realize looking at my notes that it was going to be incredibly short. (My notes made up three pages after all.) There wasn't very many people there, what with it being Memorial weekend and all. It was a little weird, since Pastor wasn't there. I think everyone could tell that I didn't really know what I was doing. I wasn't trying to look at the clock, but I noticed that it was only 7:30 by the time I was getting done. I was once told by Pastor that I shouldn't worry about length. I just should say what I want to say and not think about how long or short it turns out to be. To let you know how short it was, I was told by someone that it was good, because he "falls asleep if it is any longer than 15 minutes." So his wife said, "You kept his attention the entire way through." She also said it was good. So I should stop being too hard on myself. I got my point across. The main theme of my sermon was that God is the only hope we ever had or need. It was the first time I ever preached out of the Old Testament, if you want to look up the verses. It was Exodus 14:10-14, 29-31 and Psalms 46:1-3, 10.

Tonight I have an Africa meeting. I think we are practicing the worship music that we will be taking when we go this summer. We need a lot of practice, so hopefully we are all focused tonight. I can say that, but I know most of the time, I am the non-focused one. When the A.D.D. kicks in, the A.D.D. really kicks in.

Memorial Day and Indiana Jones

My family knows how to celebrate Memorial Day, we are going to the new Indiana Jones movie today. It's not really like that's how we are celebrating; my brother really wanted to see this movie and because it is Memorial Day, he has the day off from work. So, we are going to be heading to Aberdeen pretty soon. I will admit that I am not as excited to see the movie as my brother and mother are, but I am all up for seeing it. I happen to love watches movies in theaters and am really sad that it costs as much as it does. (But, I am all for buying cheap candy at Wal*Mart first and then shoving it in my suitcase-like purse and going into the theater.) There is just something about watching a movie at the same time as many other strangers, laughing at the same stuff, crying at the same stuff (yeah, I doubt there will be any crying, but whatever), you know, just experiencing at the same time. Plus, I love the crazy cold air conditioning that makes you wish you had brought a coat. I really just love theaters and wished that I could go to more movies. I think the last time I was in a theater was for the movie The Bourne Ultimatum. That was like last summer. Depressing, isn't it? I know. It is. Well, feel free to invite me along to any movies this summer, I would love to go.

As for Memorial Day, I just want to say that I never got a chance to meet either of my grandfathers, but they both served in WWII. I would like to say they were both honorable, but they had there flaws. However, they doesn't change that they were brave enough to serve. I would have loved to meet these men.

In Less Than an Hour

So, in less than an hour, I will be preaching. Well, not just preaching, but like leading the whole service (except worship, which is a large part and I can't sing, so it is a good thing I am not in charge of that). Pastor Tim is gone, Pastor Jeremy is gone, so I guess that just leaves Pastor Annie? Ha, ha. Yeah, no that looks too weird. I don't feel as confident as I normally do, but with God, at least, there will be a... service.

Pray it's God's words and not mine.

Top Five Comfort Foods

And by comfort foods, I mean, foods that I eat when I am bored. I am sure comfort foods are supposed to like comfort you, but whatever. Deal with it.

1. Ice Cream

2. Beef Jerky

3. Texas Toast

4. Peachie-O's

5. And even if it is for an old man, a 5th Avenue candy bar

I Want Beef Jerky Now

"But now I am stalling
Cause I’m afraid to let you in"
-Tenth Avenue North, Break Me Down

Sometimes just talking is good.

So, I have a dress perfect for a wedding. Who wants to get married so I can wear it? Ha, ha. Just kidding, no reason to rush you. So can you make it before the end of summer, because it isn't much of a winter dress? Ha, ha. I am just kidding.

I don't think I really know how to let people in. How to be completely honest with people. It is easier to blog honestly, because even though anyone can read it, I am not looking or hearing anyone while I am typing. I appreciate all of my friends who read this, even if I may want to (oh, A.D.D. kicked in, I have to tell you that story, still, you know how I told you to stop reading, you better not have read it. I want to tell you sometime) tell a story and then you say you read it already. If anyone ever wants to talk, give me a call. I like calls.

I am watching the show Good Eats (although I just call it the show with the guy who knows stuff about food) and am learning about how jerky come to be. I do indeed know just how to spend a Friday night. I know, I need a life. I am about to read a book and eat an old man candy bar (or a 5th Avenue candy bar). I know, you are incredibly jealous. Try to contain it. It will be alright.

P.S. I am glad you can tell when something is bothering me.

No Idea At All

I woke up this morning and still had options. Now, twenty minutes to noon, I have no options. I have no idea what I am going to do. Craig doesn't know and the whole position/him in general isn't dependable enough to wait for it. Southside doesn't even want me. How sad it that? I have no idea now. If I wasn't stressed out before, I am going to be now. If I wasn't losing hair before, I am going to be bald now. If I wasn't getting stress stomachaches before, I will be kneeling over now. I have no idea at all what will be next. I have no idea what to do.

I am at a loss here.

P.S. And I know I am totally at fault here. I waited too long and I am totally to blame. But hating myself for being an idiot won't bring in any bacon.

P.P.S. Well, I can start June 19th or 20th (I am not mentioning yet to them that I will be in Mitchell on the 19th) at Southside. It is looking like it would be Monday through Friday from 12:00 until 5:00. Very doable. That's not very many hours in a week, but I am very willing and able. It is still a ways away, so we will just have to see how things go. I am really trying to just keep everything in perspective that my problems are little and not a big deal, and that really things will work out. I need to learn to just trust God, because He has plans and I don't have any idea how much greater His plans are. So, I guess I am just going to have to live life... a day at a time.

Honesty

"Here in the stillness
where thoughts are born
here in our frailty we're tattered and torn"
-Sara Groves, Honesty

There's something scary about not having a plan. Luckily, I have my schedule for next semester planned out and I know where I am going to college. I just have no idea what I am going to do for the summer. I am honestly stressing out about what I am going to do for a job. Living in a small town doesn't exactly offer many job opportunities. The past couple of days being stuck in the house without a purpose for being awake has been driving me crazy in the point where I am about to be shipped off to the loony bin. It's not like a don't have options, I just am waiting for more information. It's the waiting that is killing me. I don't have a plan right now and it is driving me insane.

Last night, I was really starting to think I was bipolar. I told Josh this and he said, "You could be." I was going back and forth from wanting to scream to wanting to cry within ten minute periods. I am not even sure why. Probably because I found out they weren't hiring anyone else at the nursing home. Or probably because I have no idea what is going to happen and I have no idea what I am going to do.

"here in the hallway
here behind doors
here in the places we wage our private wars"
-Sara Groves, Honesty

Since I am being honest here, we had an Africa meeting on Tuesday. We all gave our testimonies and I realized that I didn't need to type out my testimony because it is such a part of me that I couldn't possibly forget the gist of what happened. I realized something else, though. I was sitting looking around the room and knew that I didn't trust everyone there. I probably only trusted three people and even them not completely. I honestly believe that I have never learned to swim because I get to the point where the person teaching me is holding me up in the water trying to show me that I can float. They are like, "I am holding you, I won't let you fall." I don't believe it, so I have never even been able to float. I don't trust most people. I don't even think I trust anyone completely. I don't know how anyone trusts people. I have always had the mentality that people will always let you down. This isn't easy for me to admit. So many times I have just wanted to call someone and talk or vent, but I don't have anyone that I can just talk to. I don't have anyone that I can just be open with. I can talk to my mother, but I don't even tell her every single thing. I trust her the most, but there are times that I just want to talk to someone else. Everyone, though, is afraid of my tears. I cry a lot. I had been doing really good at not crying, but I guess since I cried so much during graduation, I have forgotten how to hold back the tears. I wanted to vent to someone on Wednesday night, but the only person I had to talk to was going to Indiana at midnight. The people I really wish I could talk to, I just tell them that I am fine. I am not fine. I am not even close to fine. I feel like I am falling apart and I have no idea what to do. It isn't going to be easy for me to push this publish post button. I am preaching Sunday night and I am going to preach something positive, but I don't feel very positive. I want to just break down, but I can't do that. I just don't know how much longer I can pretend like I am fine. But, then again, I don't want to be the person that is always having a problem, because most of the time, I have mostly everything together. I am just not fine right now.

Throwback Thursday

I was adorable, but why was I wearing that? Oh, the 90s. Such an embarrassing decade.

Feel free to embarrass yourself. Throwback Thursday.

Bella

I watched Bella last night. (Of course, it was late and I was tired, so I finished watching it this morning.) Before I started typing this, I had to look up the meaning of heart-warming. I have heard the term a lot, and I had a feeling that it was the perfect term to describe Bella. According to thefreedictionary.com, it was the right term. It is an adjective meaning, "inspiring feelings of happiness." Plugged In Online (I don't recommend reading their review before you watch the movie, because part of it is a major spoiler, but if you can read around that, check it out) begins their review describing the movie:

"The name Bella means beautiful. And it's a word that does not in any way apply to Jose or his life when we first meet him. Scruffy and forlorn, Jose hasn't been the same since a tragic accident ended his promising soccer career. Now he's the head chef at his brother's fancy restaurant. People worry about Jose. Working at that same restaurant is a young, unmarried woman named Nina who does not want to be pregnant. But she is. And her morning sickness and late arrivals get her fired. No one worries about Nina—except Jose. Jose is drawn to the troubled woman and offers his help. She's suspicious of his intentions at first, but her situation and his quiet persistence motivate her to accept the proffered friendship. Still, she brushes off his gentle encouragement to let her baby live. Nina has come to the conclusion that if her life is ever going to be normal again she must abort her little girl. This artistically low-key yet emotionally complex and compelling story focuses on two friends—one damaged by the past and the other afraid of the future—who help each other make a pair of life-changing choices."

This movie is incredibly real. The story is believable. You wish you could be there with Nina and Jose as they are going along their journey. It's amazingly honest. It doesn't shy away from anything. And yet it gets its point across without the use of swear words and other vulgarities. You walk away from the film realizing the life is beautiful. You learn more about the characters throughout the movie, which makes them all the more real. Your heart will break with Jose and you will want to just hug Nina (even if you aren't a hugger, like me).

I really would say more about the movie, but I don't want to ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it. I do really recommend it. It's a heart-warming movie that touches you. Someone said that it kind of jumps around a lot, and it does jump. The movie, however, is still easy to follow. Perhaps even shows more about the mind. And with the lower and lower average attention span, I could follow it quite well. People struggle and feel pain, and this movie expresses that. It is rated PG-13, and I am not sure children would really understand everything going on. As for the rating being because of "for thematic elements and brief disturbing images," I guess I didn't really agree. I am not sure what was at all disturbing, so I don't think that is any reason for you not to watch this film. I highly recommend this movie. You will enjoy it, I promise. I actually am going to watch it again with my mother sometime. Buy it, rent it, borrow it. Just watch it. Without sounding too cliche, this is one movie you want to see.

Check this out, too.

Jose: My grandmother used to say, "You want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans."

Oh, Al

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity. - Albert Einstein

Summer's Here and the Time is Right

...for dancing in the streets. (Makes you break out in song, doesn't it?)

Anyway, I have two things to say:

1. I just was texting Josh about how I am really concerned about not knowing for sure what I am doing for a summer job yet. He said it will be fine. He said he has faith it will be fine. (He does and I don't because he is more easy-going and I get stressed easily.) But, I realized something that I am not sure yet how easy it will be to grasp, but I need to leave all of it in God's hands. I am the kind of person who likes plans. I actually kind of freak out when I don't have a plan. I also need a schedule, so just this one day of nothing much (besides sending in my MNU application) drove me crazy. I need to work so I can have a schedule. Or at least I need more going on so I have a reason to get all pretty.

And 2. I have spent too much of my life not knowing how to swim. Who wants to teach me?

Kyle's Graduation

I cried so much during his graduation. I seriously didn't even think I was going to cry at all, but I started crying right away and couldn't stop. Seriously, more and more things just made me cry. But the whole day went great. The weather was absolutely perfect. Relatives all helped out so much. My friend Kierra came later and we hang out for a little bit and that was fun. I probably look horrible from crying in the picture with just Kyle and me. I was totally emotional. Kyle had a great day though, so that was the best thing.
I made this slideshow of Kyle through the years and we had it playing on a laptop at the reception. The pictures aren't in any sort of order. It was a last minute kind of thing.

Stupid

Why do I say stupid things? Lately, it just seems that everything I have been saying sounds stupid. And most so around a certain couple people. What is my problem? Why do I open my mouth?

I really am not full of myself. I don't think I am even all that great. I am not full of myself at all honestly. I just sound like I am sometimes when I say stupid things.

Woah

My brother is graduating tomorrow.

Honestly, it hasn't sunk in yet. So it doesn't feel like it at all.

I got to play with Dakota and Hailey tonight. Erika and Krista laughed at me. But, really, it was a good time. I was reminded of how cool kid's imaginations are (you know, before school turns them into sheep). It was fun. I got excited when they were and imagined what they said. It was actually so much fun.

All my relatives are here. I have such a funny story. If you read this before I tell you this story, stop reading, because I really want to tell you in person. So, several of my relatives are here. We were eating lunch at my grandma's house. And my aunt Laurel was making the salad and Grandma gave her wooden spoons to mix it with. She says to her husband, Wayne, "Look what Mom gave me to mix this with." He kinda just looked at her, as did just about everyone else. We had no idea the significance. "Wooden spoons make my teeth itch." Yes, and she went on to say that her sister-in-law knows someone who has that problem. Then Grandma said that she can take her teeth out and scratch them. Anyway, you know those jokes that get old fast but people keep telling it? This wasn't one of those. It kept being hilarious. It was great. There are more stories, but I will let you think about that one for a while.

You can start reading again if I told you to stop. Only, I don't have anything else to say. Oh, yeah. There's something about my relatives. When several of them get into a room, there's always like three or more people talking at the same time. Since it's hard to hear people talk then, everyone just raises their voices so loud that it seems like we are all yelling at each other. It is actually quite entertaining. I have crazy relatives. At least I have some good stories now.

I Wanna Be a Princess Mommy

So you can't tell me that there isn't something funny about like a 50-something man having a princess tissue box in the bowling alley.

School is Out for the Summer

Oh, why, yes.

Today is the
LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!

Lists and Joy

It's a weird feeling. You know, to discover that Relient K hit the nail on the head with the song "High of 75," because it really is funny to realize that you enjoy your life when you are happy to be alive. I am actually currently quite happy. It's not because of my grades, it's not because of the car I drive (because I am not happy about driving something so uncool), it's not because I have a boyfriend (because I am very, very single), it's not because I got elected to the youth board (even though I am very happy about that. I just love the thought that I get to keep making the newsletters and typing up the minutes and what not for the whole next year), and it's not even because I am pretty (ha, ha. or because I am conceited). I am just happy because God is great. I am living for His name. I am walking with Him. And I am so happy. I realize I probably won't stay happy, because something will come up, but I feel joy. Yeah, joy is probably a better word.

I have some things to get done before I have to go to school (thanks to block scheduling, I don't have to go until the 7th hour test starts, which is Economics at 10:30ish). So, I was randomly thinking about how much I really love lists. I love writing lists. I don't really like getting the work done that is on the list, but I enjoy crossing it off. I really love lists. I know, I know, I am a complete and total dork. I am alright with that. It's a shame I am not going to be a secretary someday, because I love office supply stores, too. And I like licking envelopes.

Happy

Honestly, I am just so happy.

God is amazing.

Would You Be the Reason

If I were a city
Would you be the reason
To keep the lights on
If I were a mountain
Would you be the reason
To get to the pike
If I were a bicycle
Would you be the reason
To keep pedaling
If I were a lamp
Would you be the reason
To glow
If I were a vase
Would you be the reason
To display beauty
If I were a garden
Would you be the reason
To grow
If I were a fire
Would you be the reason
To burn
If I were a car
Would you be the reason
To drive on
If I were a mirror
Would you be the reason
To reflect
If I were an island
Would you be the reason
To be peaceful
If I were candy
Would you be the reason
To be so sweet
If I were a dance
Would you be the reason
To get my groove on
If I were the sun
Would you be the reason
To rise
If I were a boat
Would you be the reason
To sail
If I was happy
Would you be the reason
To smile

(I wrote this because it was better than studying for Chemistry and because I think everyone should just write something silly for the joy of writing. It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't even have to be good. Writing is just fun. You should enjoy it more.)

Waiting for the Water to Boil

Why yes, I do happen to be an extremely magnificent chef. So I am currently waiting for the water in two pots on the stove to boil. Then I will proceed to make mac and cheese for my family. Kraft (in the blue box) for my brother and Velveeta (shells) for my mother and me. I know, you wish you had as mad of cooking skills as I do. But, let's face it, we can't all be as amazing as I am. I also specialize in making chicken with cheese in a tortilla shell. I am indeed pretty much amazing.

I don't really have much to say besides the things that I could ramble about. School is almost over. I am very close to never having to be a junior in high school ever again. I will admit, I am extremely happy about that. My brother is graduating on Sunday, which I am quite sad about. I walked up to him and his friend in the hallway today and told that in a week I will never be able to randomly walk up to them and stand by them in the hallway ever again. It will quite sad. Yeah I know Colton won't miss it. Actually, he might. I always tell him that he enjoys my company.

I am going to be an usher for graduation. The top eight in the class are (the top two are marshals) and since I was 6th, bam! I am an usher. I have a pretty dress that I look amazing in (of course, when do I not look amazing?) The dress even has pockets, which is pretty neat. And I didn't even know there were pockets until my mom pointed it out. I am kind of slow a little.

Oh, my. So, in school today, Jamie was eating mini Peachie-O's. Oh, my were they adorable and 'lil.

Anyway, I should get a scootin'. The mac and cheese is almost done and while I am really a master at the multi-task, I think my family would notice if my laptop was out and I was just typing during dinner.

Not Too Impressive, but Nice to Know

84 words

Speedtest

I improved.

Cleaned Out My Locker Today

Well, kinda. It's still a little messy.

Guess how many B sections (with the puzzles) from newspapers I had in my locker.


Yep, 53.

The Last of my Spring Concerts

So I just got home from the last high school band/chorus concert of my life. It's kind of sad, but it hasn't really sunk in yet so it's not really that sad. (I am not going to be in band or chorus my senior year.) It was an alright concert. It was a Spring Concert and Pop Concert all mashed into one so it took super long. It ended at 10:00. I told Ashley that it was past my mother's bedtime. Ha, ha.

Some highlights: April was a little obsessed with the softness of my skirt fabric. Ha, ha. We sat on the wrong side of the clarinets and so that made playing band awkward. April and I critiqued what everyone was wearing and laughed at girls who couldn't walk in their high heals. And then I laughed at April when she couldn't walk in hers. The program had the word "Intermission" all bold and then the song were under it and I was like, "April, why are they singing for the intermission?" But most of all, the most embarrassing story: I was standing in the entry way thing before you go in the gym. I was standing by April and John Labooty. The Jr. High kids started to sing "Lollipop" and I started like dancing. You know, swinging my hips and snapping. The whole jazz. Then April has a funny look on her face. Our school superintendent had been standing there the whole time. He was going to go into the gym, but I was in his way, so he just stopped and watch me dance. I felt stupid.

Later, Dixie was dancing in the back of the gym:
Dixie: Mr. Herman just saw me dancing.
Annie: Woo! *puts hands up for high five*
Dixie: *puts hands up for high five*
Annie: Now we both have danced in front of administrators tonight.
*We both mess up the high five*
Dixie: I wasn't expecting you to say administrators.
*We both laugh*

Good story.

Abortion PSA

I made this Public Service Announcement for my Computer App. class. I think abortion is a very serious issues and people should learn more about it before they form an opinion.

I Joined Twitter

Great New Invention

Swivel boards are all the hip new rage in the Jr. High right now. I see little kids riding these boards to school, acting like they are so cool. They must be the new scooters. I remember scooters being cool. Not that I ever had a scooter, but I really wanted one. So I know about new fads. And I am not trying to be all negative or anything, but this new swivel boards kind of look like riding is like a constant leg spasm.

This, my dear friends, if why I purpose instead of calling them swivel boards, we should call them: Spasm boards.

So, children, if you want to be cool. If you want to have friends, go buy yourself a hip new Spasm board. All the cool kids are spazing out with them.

(Won't that kill the fad fast?)

Oh, Tuesday, Tuesday

I had a lot of fun tonight. We had our Africa planning practice whatever you'd call it tonight. We went through the human video two times and then practiced worship. We ended on a song that none of us really knew how to play at all, but it was a great song, so we all started singing and it was great. Then we all sat down and had a nice little "circle time." We talked, we randomly sang, we fellowshipped.

I learned a couple of things. That worship (through songs, I know that isn't the only way to worship) isn't about playing the right chords the entire time or being on key the entire team. It is more about singing at the top of your lungs and praising God with all you have. With all your energy, with all your voice. And honestly, it is so much fun. Dancing, singing, praising God. Tonight was a good night.

"Circle time" pretty much consists of a group of people sitting in a circle. Usually it's talking about random things, sometimes it's about a focused topic. But, usually when there is at least one person in the group with a short attention span, it's less focused and a lot more random. However, it's group bonding in circular form. It's actually a lot of fun. I am looking forward to a lot more "circle times" as an Africa group.

I also learned something about myself that isn't as happy. We are doing a human video to the song Everything by Lifehouse (it's a lot like the youtube human video, that's where we got the whole idea, so it you want to youtube, feel free). In the human video, Jeremy and Cole both kinda like twirl me. I kind of like dance with Cole. And Cole dips me. Anyway, it has been pointed out that I don't let them lead. They are the guys and they are supposed to lead. I know this is because I have trust issues. I wish I could learn to trust better. (I also think that if I could trust, I would have let someone teach me how to swim correctly by now.) I need to learn to trust people. I mean, it's not that I don't trust people. I just am not sure.

Anyway, I got my schedule for next year worked out. Hopefully. It's not all too great, but it's still my senior year. Forward motion.

P.S. I tried an old man bar for the first time. Well, you know, a 5th Avenue candy bar. I finally tried one. It wasn't that bad actually. You know, for an old man candy car.
Jeremy: I like those.
Me: You're an old man.
...Later:
Jeremy: Can I try some?
Me: Can I call you old?
Jeremy: You already did.

Appetite A.D.D.

I don't think I am normal. I love baking. I love making new recipes that come from random places. However, when I am done, I have no desire to actually eat anything I just baked. Not because it looks gross or anything, it actually looks quite yummy. After whatever period of time it took to make it, I just am not hungry for it anymore. I think that must mean that I have appetite A.D.D. That seems to be the only logically answer. Like for instance, I made brownies and put Oreo pudding on top and it looked delightful. However, out of the whole pan, I had like one serving. And just last night I made some German chocolate cookie sandwiches with coconut pecan frosting in the middle. They look appetizing. I just seem to have no appetite for them. But I can't just stop making things, because I really do love baking. I find it very fun and it gets my mind off how I have no idea what I am going to do for my schedule next year, but have to decide before Wednesday anyway. I would very much rather bake than think about that. So I may have appetite A.D.D., but at least I am making my mind preoccupied. In the end, I still win.

Baking is Fun

I enjoy baking cookies that are so very unhealthy.

Just Thinking Thoughts, You Know

10 days left of school. I have to admit, I am a little sad. My junior year has been a good year so far. My brother, mom and I were all in the living room and my mom was like, "After Kyle graduates, nothing is going to be the same." And it's kind of true. In like 11 days, I will technically be a senior. And while the thought of leaving Ellendale and never having to deal with all the drama-filled girliness in my class is alright with me, it's still sort of sad. I have no idea this time next year I will be totally crying my eyes out. Well, I will be sad and ready to leave. Anyway, since my brother is also 23 months older than me and was only in the grade ahead of me, I have pretty much always had my brother there. He has always looked out for me. He has always just been there. There have been times where we fight and argue, but we mostly get along. Next year my brother won't always be there. Granted he will only be like 40 miles away, but in a little over a year, I will be many, many miles away. Things will never be the same.

On a completely unrelated note, our Africa team is going to perform probably the most painful human video yet. By painful, I mean the most people have gotten hurt so far and we just completed it last week. Krista's toe is probably broken. It's all black and blue. And, yes, I stepped on it. But so did Rebecca. And my foot keep bleeding, everything it gets scabbed over, it gets opened up again. So, pretty much if we all make it through this human video alive, it will be by the grace of God.

The week is pretty much hurrying to get as much done as possible in school. It's the week before finals. It's going to be a lot of finishing chapters and reviewing. Two of my least favorite things. I am so sick of school. I have nothing going on tonight, because my guitar teacher left to go back home to Colorado. I have an Africa planning/practicing night tomorrow. So I guess that means I don't get to go to the Elementary spring concert. Anyway, Wednesday is worship team practice and youth group. Thursday is the High School spring concert. Friday is the showing of "The Wager" which I am not signed up for to work anywhere, so I don't know. I may or may not still go. Fun, fun, fun.

Mad Skills

I told you so.

Quotes and What Not

"It is God's business, not ours, to care for what we have. God is able to protect what we posess. We can trust him [with our things and our relationships]. The lock on the door is not what protects the house. Simplicity means the freedom to trust God for these and all things." -Richard Foster

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (The Message) Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

1 Peter 1:6-7 (The Message) I know how great this makes you feel, even though you have to put up with every kind of aggravation in the meantime. Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it's your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

"If God is anything, then He must be everything. And unless He is everything, He is nothing." -Dick Woodward

"If your faith isn't changing you, it hasn't saved you." -James MacDonald

"I do not like to think of you as needing to have 'things' pleasant around you when you have God within you. Surely he is enough to content any soul. If He is not enough here, how will it be in the future life when we have only Him Himself?" -Hannah Whitall Smith

Romans 12:17-21 (The Message)
Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it." Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

"It is doubtful that God can use anyone greatly until He has hurt him deeply." -A. W. Toze

“God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight.” -Reggie White

“God loves us the way we are, but too much to leave us that way” -Leighton Ford

Wood Chips

I still smell like wood chips.

You see, my mother and I went to Aberdeen today and picked up some wood chips for our backyard. So we put ten bags in the back of my car. Not only my car smells like wood chips, but I even still smell like wood chips. Boo.

But all is well, you see, I also got two new pairs of shoes today. Well not needed and there's no room to store more shoes, I have an addiction. And I am alright with that.

Talk About Old School

Like an Orange

Last night in youth group, we watched a DVD called Fearfully and Wonderfully Made. I was sitting by Krista and Dixie. Anyway, it was funny. Krista was feeling pain just watching and listening to the child developing process.

Krista: [Having a baby] is like an orange coming out of a lemon.
Dixie: It's more like an orange coming out of a garden hose.
Krista: It's like a basketball coming out of a garden hose.

Anyway, youth group was alright. But I just have to say how much I really don't like high school. I really wish I was a senior right now so I could be out of here. There is so much drama. There is so much drama that it really drives me crazy. It's just all so high school. I realize that no one is mature enough to raise below it. Let's just reduce the drama a little. Come on now.

It's already May. So only like 16 days until the last day of school. Only 18 days until my brother graduates and enters the world has a high school-educated person. Only like a month and a half until I turn 17. That's exciting. It's already May. And, yes, there is a chance of snow Friday or this weekend or something. I want spring. Boo snow. I want to wear shorts. Boo snow. Boo wind. Boo everything.