Thursday, October 30, 2008

Wake Up

I would start of by saying, "Why am I already done with my shower and waiting for breakfast? Normally I am never done this early," but I know why I had to get up the first time by alarm went off. Yes, that's right, Youth Alive. You see I have always been the president of FCA and while that's irony considering I am not athletic at all. But I dropped the ball when it came to FCA. I thought that I couldn't not get people to care about it so why bother? I didn't lose my passion for it, so instead of dropping the ball, I was more scoring a point in the other team's basket. You know, if the devil were to be an avid basketball player or something. However, Megan said no more of this and wanted to start FCA again, but with it actually being heavily stressed on athletes, she decided to start Youth Alive, which gives a lot more freedom as to what to do. Especially with Jeremy being the adviser and all. So, let it be known, that I don't want to be at school at 8:10. I don't want to wake up a half hour earlier than I need to and be done earlier. But, if I can, anyone can. It being too early is no longer an excuse for anyone. I am turning (sadly) into one of those people that are just barely on time everywhere I go (except work, I am always around 15 minutes early for work), so I should very easily not go and just be at school at the normal time, but winning my school over for Christ is too important of thing to let pass by you while you are sleeping. Wake up, everyone! This is my senior year and this should be the wake up call. This is my last year. I am busy with high school, college classes, and work. I am just busy with even keeping my head above water. I am busy enough just remembering that I need to make time to breath. But, this is my last year in high school. Ask all my friends, I want to be done with high school and I would start the countdown if it wouldn't be so depressing that there's still that many days left. No enough of my friends read this, but reaching your school is too big of deal to not do anything about it. Youth Alive is Thursdays at 8:10.

Other than that going on today, the rest makes it look like today will not be that good of day. Let's start at the beginning of how bad my day will be. First of all, I forgot my Applied Communications homework at school and it's due 1st hour. I can't just go early and work on it because there's Youth Alive. Then we are playing hockey in P.E. Now I hate P.E. but I hate hockey the most. In Biology today, we are desecting rats. Rats for crying out loud. I do not want to do that. I'll watch, but I don't want to. If we get a pregnant rat, I will cry my eyes out. Then, there's Senior Math, which I don't have done, because I forgot it at school. The easy answer would be for me not to forget things at the school, but I could only focus on getting everything I needed for my scholarship, that I couldn't focus on anything else. And then I work, and then bowl. Which wouldn't be so bad, except it means that I don't have any time to just not do anything. Which I have been busy lately, busier than normal, and I just want to do... nothing.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I Used to Like Breathing

I have been and am too busy. I don't even really have time to breath.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

I am at Least Good at Talking About Myself

I said I would post today and with only 45 minutes left of today, I think I better hurry.

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?:: No, that's weird.
What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?:: 4 years, well over 3 years
Ever been in a car wreck?:: No, I haven't.
Were you popular in high school?:: I am still in high school and I am still not popular.
Have you ever been on a blind date?:: No
Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more??:: Ha, ha. Most of my friends right now I have known since kindergarten.
By what age would you like to be married?:: 27 seems to be a good age. But, I don't really care. I think I would enjoy being single for a while and living on my own for a while.
Have you ever made a mistake?::
Are you a good tipper?:: I feel bad when I don't tip enough, so I try to be good.
What's the most you have spent for a haircut?:: Probably only like 12.
Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?:: Ha, ha... I can honestly say I haven't.
Have you ever peed in public?:: Maybe when I was two? On accident?
What song do you want played at your funeral?:: I'll Fly Away
What would your last meal be before getting executed?:: Hopefully it never comes to that, but maybe a giant soft pretzel... with cheese.
Beatles or Stones?:: Beatles
If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who?:: I don't wish death on anyone...
Do you have any phobias?:: Heights and I am kind of afraid developing panic attacks...
What are your plans for the future?:: Go to MNU, double major in Ministry and Mass Communications, get a job that I enjoy, and find "the one" and get married.
If you were an animal what would you be?:: Penguin!
Hair color you like on someone you're dating?:: Brown
Would you rather be blind or deaf?:: Blind
Do you have any special talents?:: I can... crack an egg with one hand?
What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?:: Put my purse down
Do you like horror or comedy?:: Comedy, but mainly because I hate horror.
Are you missing anyone?:: I am filing a missing person's report right now. Alright, no, I'm not. I sort of miss my brother, but he's be home tomorrow, so after that, I may be sick of him.
Where do you want to live when you are old?:: In a yellow house
Who is the person you can count on the most?:: My mom or Trevor
If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?:: Shia LaBeouf
What did you dream last night?:: A couple nights ago, I had a dream that I was dating one of my classmates... yeah, it was weird.
What is your favorite sport to watch?:: Bowling, but second place would probably be basketball, just because I understand what is going on.
Are you named after anyone?:: I am actually named after my father's great aunt Annie
Have you ever been in love?:: No, I haven't.
Do you sing in the shower?:: No. I don't. I think people will hear and no one wants to hear me sing.
Have you ever been arrested?:: No, I abide the law.
What is your favorite Holiday?:: Christmas
Would you ever get plastic surgery?:: No, I can survive with my large nose.
Have you ever caught a fish?:: I have never gone fishing and I would really like to... at least once.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I've Been Listening to The Classic Crime Lately

I have no school tomorrow, so hopefully I can blog something good and worthwhile. Currently, I am ashamed to show my face (minus the fact that I don't show my face) on my blog while it is in its current lackluster and put-you-to-sleep-boring state.

To make you feel a little bit like you didn't waste time, clicking to come to my blog, here's a video for your viewing pleasure:

The Classic Crime - "Abracadavers" - Directed By Dan Dobi from Dan Dobi on Vimeo.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Tuesday, I Think

Sometimes I will start doing something and then totally forget and not go back to it. I am thinking that's a bad thing. I should have done some math homework last night, but I didn't. Instead, I went to the volleyball game. Not that I had a choice, since I had to take pictures for Journalism anyway, but still. In the beginning of the game, I actually sort of thought that I would miss some things about high school. By the end, however, I was tired and just wanted to leave (Be done with high school and just go home and sleep. Ha, ha).

Anyway, today I have high school and college. Yesterday I didn't have college classes and later this week on Thursday and Friday, I won't have high school classes. Oh, the life of a high student taking college classes.

I also work again today. I don't know when I will be able to go (or if I go) to the football game tonight. We are in the playoffs tonight and we have home field advantage. It should be a good game, but I probably will only make it to half-time or after.

I sort of feel like I am forgetting something important.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

No One Spit Out Their Teeth Today

In my effort to post more, I am currently using Trevor's laptop at the bowling alley. Just so I can bring you a post. Because I know you have been missing out of knowing the boring details of my life.

We have a new resident at the nursing home. While I know we aren't supposed to talk about other people, I will... but I won't use names. We have a new resident and she started to cry because she wanted to go home. It was really depressing. So, I called my mom and told her about it. Now I know my mother is only 56, but still, that day will come when she won't be able to live on her own and on that day, I am fairly certain (not to be rude) that I won't want her to live with me. So, there will be a day when I am putting my mother in a nursing home and she will hate me. A nursing home really isn't your home. For inside the kitchen, I can see that it is all attitude. You will either have a good attitude and get excited every time you get onions on your cottage cheese (p. s. ew much?). Or you will have a bad attitude and cry, only to realize that you are stuck. So, there's another lesson that can be learned from the nursing home: It's all attitude.

As much as I don't really mind working at the nursing home, and as far as jobs go, it's way better than Southside, I must admit I will not mind when volleyball is over and we aren't so short-staffed.

Anyway, I am at the bowling alley. It's funny... I am usually never home. Even last week, when I was home alone, I was rarely home. That's why I am looking forward to Thursday. I have the day off and I don't have school. However, I do still have one college class, but afterward my mother and I are finally going to do something about my senior pictures (that I had taken in June, but haven't really done anything about them).

I am starting to work on the youth group blog now.

I am the Bandage and the Bane

I am the bandage
Everywhere I go, there I
am, I am the bane

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Creative Chaos

I really enjoy this song, but more so, I really enjoy this music video. It has a great overall idea and I love the blurring in and out.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Just One of Those Days

Sometimes you just have one of those days.

Sometimes you just have one of those days where you are done with work and in a church and you reach in your pocket and realize that you accidentally stole a spoon from the nursing home. (However, you will take it back.)

Sometimes you just have one of those days where you develop a fear that someone will steal your newspapers that you collect in your locket just because no one understands your level of OCD.

Sometimes you just have one of those days where you realize that you hardly ever see your brother and it is nice to talk on the phone once in a while.

Sometimes you just have one of those days where you realize you need to get back and remember why you ever thought you were called to ministry in the first place.

Sometimes you just have one of those days where you just need to take time and realize how many life lessons you are learning without being conscious of it.

Sometimes you just have one of those days where you need to remember to breath.

Maybe it's just me.

Whatever the case, tomorrow can be another whole set of "just one of those days."

Thursday, October 9, 2008


For something light-hearted:

1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, MP3 Player, or whatever on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.

If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?

What do you like in a guy/girl?
Wide Awake

How do you feel today?
The Last Night

What is your life's purpose?
Amazing Because It Is

What is your motto?
Woo Hoo

What do your friends think of you?
Another One Bites the Dust

What do you think of your parents?
Like a Racecar

What do you think about very often?
Give Until There's Nothing Left

What is 2 + 2?

What do you think of your best friend?

What do you think of the person you like?

What is your life story?
Somewhere in the Sky

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Sound of Melodies

What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Crazy Little Thing Called Love

What will you dance to at your wedding?
And the Truth

What will they play at your funeral?
Shut Me Out

What is your hobby/interest?
It's Beautiful

What is your biggest fear?
Never Take Friendship Personal

What is your biggest secret?

What do you think of your friends?
Can I Get an Amen

What will you post this as?

Milo and Toothpaste

My first old person died today. By that, I mean, that today the first resident at the nursing home died since I got a job there. It's really sad. I didn't think about it too much when I first heard, but by the time I was bowling tonight, I was in quite a horrible mood. Trevor was like, "Are you in a bad mood?" Besides the fact that I was in a bad mood, you really shouldn't ask a person in a bad mood if they are in a bad mood. But, I digress. He died and I am awfully sad. I sort of want to cry. Even though I didn't really know him at all and my conversations with him didn't go much past, "Are you done eating?" I am still sadden that I know I won't ever see him again. Right now, the only thing I can hope is that people don't really die in threes. I do not want to lose two more residents. It will end up being (you aren't supposed to pick favorites) one that I kind of talk to more than the others.

Today was a mixture of things. Yesterday was better. Yesterday April was hyper and Mr. Ulmer asked her what kind of toothpaste she uses. (I use Crest and I wasn't hyper. Not that I really think toothpaste would change your personality. Of course, I think Mr. Ulmer was implying that toothpaste could be like Mountain Dew.) I had to play volleyball today. I hate volleyball. I didn't think I hated it that much, but I really do. No one in my P.E. ever wants me on their team. I am so anti-athletic that it's a shock I'm not obese or something.

Yes, I'm Still Thinking About College

I was talking to a friend recently and I realized something. That I have wanted to go to MNU for so long, that I forgot why I wanted to go in the first place. Since, MNU is in the lead for college that I will go to, I should probably get back to why I wanted to go there. (Although, perhaps Yale is to Rory as Olivet is to me. In which case, that would make MNU Harvard.) On the phone, I had a non-written down pro-con list. And apparently the pro side was longer. Perhaps that should give me the reassurance I need.

On the pro list: They have really nice green grass in the spring.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Sometimes You Have to Keep Your Cow

I bought a purse online. And after thinking about it thoroughly, it was a bigger mistake than either of my exes. First of all, the picture and description didn't accurately describe how ugly and not right it was, so I bought it, only be to quite upset in the end. I realize that purses aren't a big deal and they aren't anything to get stressed about, but still, I learned a lesson. Sometimes you just need to keep your cows instead of investing in the stock market, because we all know how well our economy is doing.

Before you hear it from my mother, I will tell you myself. I am slightly OCD. It's true. I let a little bit of my obsessiveness slip while talking to my mother a couple days ago. Now it wasn't totally random, we were in Wal-Mart to buy toothbrushes. But I told my mother that someday when I have a place of my own and a bathroom to organize how I want, I secretly (but no longer secretly) want to get a toothbrush in every color and only brush my teeth with whatever color matches what I am wearing that day. Now, is that really that weird?

But for now, I will just keep my cow.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

I'm Crawling Right Now

Crawl (Carry Me Through)

Rock What You Got
by Superchick

How long will this take?
How much can I go through?
My heart, my soul aches
I don’t know what to do
I bend, but don’t break
Somehow I’ll get through
Cause I have You

And if I had to crawl
Well You’d crawl too
I stumble and I fall
Carry me through
The wonder of it all
Is You see me through

O Lord, where are you?
Do not forget me here
I cry in silence
Can you not see my tears
When all have left me
And hope has disappeared
You’ll find me here

When everything I was is lost
I have forgot, but You have not
When I am lost, You have not lost me
You have not lost me

Behind the Song:
"One critic wrote the following about our album, Beauty from Pain:

“The songwriting seems more vapid, despite the personalized approach, with most songs merely offering a message of ‘we all hurt, but hold on because it’ll get better.’”

I think this critic missed the second half of the message: “Hold on, it will get better. You are not alone, God is with you.” This is not vapid; there is a place below bottom where that is the only message that makes any sense. A friend called me to let me know about his baby birth, but as he asked me to pray, he choked up, unable to get the words out to tell me that his son was born with Down syndrome. I’ve watched mute and helpless while friends have lost family members to cancer. I’ve personally been to the dark place where suicide seems like the only way out. In those times, when our hearts have broken and are overflowing with grief, we don’t need clever theology or smart slogans. All we need is the fundamental core truth of it all...that God has not left us - and though we may have lost hope and lost ourselves and lost everything, He has not lost us.

“How long, O Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all day?” Psalm 13:1-2" - Max Hsu (Superchick)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Letting Go Gives a Better Grip

Sometimes we as humans are too hard on ourselves. I am a pretty good example. For instance, I preached on Sunday and I don't think I did a very good job on delivery. (If you were there, you can agree.) However, maybe instead of always viewing things as a failure (which I would probably classify Sunday as), perhaps I should try to think of it more as there was something victorious about it. You see, perhaps it's hindsight. Anyway, my sermon was about death. I literally told my entire church body that they were not just going to die, but are all in the processing of dying right now. Having a healthy person hear that just might make them think a little bit more, but then odds are they will go on to have a normal week, without giving death much of a thought. However, to the person with say, cancer, it might leave more of an impression, in fact, it might even make them a little angry or offended. I mean, they are really dying. (Let's not get technical.) There's a women in my church that was in church on Sunday, listening to my sermon. She is a women with cancer. She also happens to go to coffee where my grandma hangs out (and by hang out, I mean she sits around with other old people and drinks coffee and gossips). She told my grandma that I did a great job and according to my grandma, she was giving me rave reviews. So, in failures, perhaps I should think that maybe my sermon wasn't delivered all that well, but maybe it reached someone. I shouldn't about how much it annoyed me that a certain person couldn't stop laughing, I should think that maybe one thing I said made them realize that they will die, but salvation is possible. Better yet, maybe I should think that it isn't about anything I can do or say, but it's only about how much more God can do.