Friday, February 29, 2008

Be Okay

If anyone of you have ever been in a relationship, and more so when there has been more than one relationship, then you probably have taken part in a breakup. (I do not support polygamy, so if you've been in two relationships and have never been involved in a breakup, then I am worried for you.) I had class this morning, but there is no high school today, so I had some time to catch up on the secular music videos that are hip cool (you can tell how hip and cool I am by the way I still use the words hip and cool together), and I would like to say that I really do think that Chrisette Michele has an amazing voice. Take a listen, her voice is amazing. So on came the video for her song "Be Ok" and I was like, "At least it's better than the Snoop Dogg video that came before it and I changed the channel for." I would post the video, but I really do not feel the need. If you want to watch her song "Be Ok," go ahead, it would probably make this post make more sense to you.

The song starts out with the deep lyrics, "Imma take my Lexus to the mall/Get a little black dress just because/Me and my boo just broke it off." Instantly you can realize you found a winner. First of all, I would like to tell you that when I had my 3rd breakup with my first boyfriend, I had a crappy crappy day. I was feeling sick already. Actually, I just realize we hadn't even broken up. I think we were just having a fight or something. Oh yes, I remember details now, but I don't think they are needed for this be a good post. Anyway, I was sick and so I didn't go to school. He called me and we fought. I cried a lot and felt horrible all around. I told my mother that I needed some cookie dough. Break ups and cookie dough should really go hand-in-hand after all. However, just because you break up, going shopping or eating pints of ice cream will not make you feel better. It will just numb the pain. I know it helps to just veg and do things to get your mind off the break up, but let me tell you something. Eating the cookie dough did not help me (besides help me get fatter), but the thing that truly made me feel great was the day that I was ready to get the remaining cookie dough and make cookies out of it. The thing that felt that best was moving on.

Now, her song does has some redeeming qualities (unlike the video), "Even though it hurts I will survive/I'll wipe my eyes, I'll stay alive/Take a deep breath and count to 10/Today's a new day I'll start again." Moving on after a break up is the best thing. Realizing it is painful and hurts and moving on. Taking each experience and learning something from it. So, perhaps someone should we should just leave the Lexus in the garage, save the money for that black dress that probably wasn't needed and learn to just love life even through life sucks, and breakups make it seem like it is the end of the world, life goes on.

"You may cry until it seems there are no more tears to give and it may feel like you have no one and no reason to live but God wants more for the life you lead and everything you share guys and girls may break your heart but he'll always be there."
-Eleventyseven, Teenage Heartbreak

I apologize if you are still in the salty stages of a breakup. God does not leave you. And it's not the end of the world.

"Teenage heartbreak nothing hurts so bad then remembering everything you had teenage heartbreaks never really last that long broken hearts heal when the pain is gone."
-Eleventyseven, Teenage Heartbreak

P.S.
I am really starting to like Way of the Master Radio. The 2/21 one (hour one) was really good. I am finding Way of the Master Radio podcasts are more than just the cure for insomnia, it's got a lot of meat to chew on. And who doesn't love that? It's almost like meat that vegans would love. Well, Christian vegans. Ha, ha. Sorry, random much?
P.P.S. This isn't about anyone in certain. Just about breakups. I am not going through one, nor do I still feel the hurt of one. I am just annoyed with the music video. So get over yourself.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Hair Cut!

Before:
After:
I can totally rock the short hair.

Ask

You can ask me whatever questions you wish
I will not give an answer
I would rather be closed
I would rather have everything
Behind closed doors
Locked up
So you can not see
The scars I bare
The secrets I do not want to share
I know it would be freeing
Liberating
Exhilarating
I know it would be
If I only let you in
I do not want you to see
The pain I have carried
The past I have buried
I will not choose to be vulnerable
Exposed is a state in which I would like to be
So when the conversations come
Like you know they will
Like they always do
You can ask as many questions as you would like
I will not give an answer

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Life and Money

April: All babies want to be born.
Me: You've said that like five times today.
April: If we say it enough, other people will start saying it just like "you suck at life."
Me: All babies want to be born.

And this a long time ago,
Randomly and out of the blue,
Krista (to me): I'm dying.

Life is a very interesting thing. It really seems like most people's motivation in life is money. I mean, that's what it's all about. You go to school, go to college all to get an education so you can get a job in whatever field of study you were in. You get a job so you can make a living, you have a family that you need to support, which you need money for. I don't want my life to be about money. I mean I realize the important of having a job and making money. I know it's important to go to college, but that costs a lot. I am excited for college, not so much for that whole being a stranger amongst many others, but I am looking forward to majoring in Youth and Family Ministry and minoring in Mass Communications. I am excited for that. I don't know why, but I am. I just don't want money to be so important that I don't always have God first in my life.

Another thing, I am single right now and am not looking for anyone. I am too young and I know this. However, when I am looking for a guy, something that is very important is that they have God first in their life. I want my husband to have God before me, to have God first and foremost. Of course, I know I need to also work on my life and make sure that God is first in my life at all times.

Brad told me that he would teach me how to punch somebody. You know, in case I ever get mad and need to punch someone in the belly. Which, may be sooner than you think. But, I am trying not to be too mad, because even if I punched him in the belly, it wouldn't hurt him. Ugh.

"Hey taxi
Take me straight to the heart of it
The nucleus of politics where somebody started it
Cause they taxed me
With a scalpel piece by piece
They cut me deep and bled me dry until there was nothing left to bleed"
"Never forget
There’s life after death and taxes
And forgiveness comes
Then all of the rest is what passes away
Death and decay can’t touch us now"
-Relient K, Life After Death and Taxes (Failure II)

Defines You

I have a question. I was talking to a friend of mine and he seems to had come to the realization that he was a jerk to me. I know, shocking considering that he left me at Worlds of Fun to hang out with someone else, but anyway, he asked why people think he's such a bad person because his past doesn't define him.

I think that your choices define who you are, but does your past define who you are?

I am really curious and even though there are two people out there that read my site, I would like some response. What do you think?

I have a past. I haven't always made the best choices. Does your past define you?

Plus: What does who you are friends with say about you? (If that even makes sense.)

Quitting and Crazy Tired

"We've got a lot to learn
Why do we always run away?
The time to fight is now
A silent voice is of no use
We've got to rise up"
-Forever Changed, Encounter

First of all, quitting. I know that I have quit a several good amount of things my life (quizzing, volleyball, track), but I don't think that you should just quit. First of all, I don't think you should quit because you were elected and were wanting to be part of it and because there is only like three months left. Not even probably. But, whatever, I was told by my mother that not everyone can feel the same way I do about something. Like, what's really important to me may not be important to someone else. I understand that. The whole thing just burns my bottom a little bit. Actually, more than a little bit. It makes me madder than a wet hen. I know that things will work out how they are supposed to. I am going to try to just keep telling myself that.

Sometimes when I laugh, I sound like I am hyperventilating. People like to point it out to me a lot. I actually have like three different laughs. Of course, that's not weird for a person who goes through like three or four stages when I am tired. It's weird that people know me well enough to know that I not only have different stages when I am tired, but they can also pretty much identify them. Ha, ha. I would like to apologize to anyone who has ever seen me tired. My brother is actually very afraid to wake me up when I am taking a nap, because when I am tired I become sort of crazy. So I apologize for anyone who has seen me crazy, whether I was tired or not.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Morning Schedules and a Small Boatload of Preachers

I really hate it when my morning schedule is thrown off. Which happens very easily, thanks to my brother. He fell asleep after shutting off his alarm clock, and woke up a good 20 minutes later, which made him get done and out of the bathroom later than usual. (And by usual, I mean there is no usual he always takes forever, like he takes longer in the bathroom than I do and I am a girl.) Which leads to my alarm going off, but I can't get up because Kyle hasn't gotten out of the bathroom yet, so I try to lightly sleep until I can hear the bathroom door open. Usually works, but this morning? No dice. And so I woke up late and got done late and I shouldn't even be taking the time to post anything because the days when I get done late are usually some of the worst of days.

However, I want to post, so I am going to. Yesterday was pretty filled. Of course, it was a Sunday, so all church-related activities. First was Sunday school and church, of course, then the youth board had a board meeting, which went very long. Then I drove to Barnard so I could go with Cole and Levi to listen to their friend Zach (who I am guessing is 18, but could be wrong) preach the evening service. It was very well done. Then after the service, apparently the hang out place was Chase's house. So, several people went there for Chili and to hang, you know. Ha, ha. Chase's family has a very beautiful house. Anyway, I am not an outgoing person when I am around people that I do not know that well. In fact, I get very quiet and close up. I wish very much so that I wasn't that way but I am. But I had seen most of those people before and even though Cole introduced me to all the adults as, "Her name is Annie, she also preaches." (But I guess that's good.) Most people probably just know me as "Annie, she goes to the same church as Cole." Ha, ha. Yep.

But anyway, yesterday in addition to hearing Zach preach, Al also preached the morning service at my church. It was good hearing other preachers, seeing as how I hope to be one someday. Actually, I am "called." But that feels very weird to say and more weird considering I don't remember being called. I remember wanting to be a youth pastor when I was like 12 or 13, but I really don't remember a divine experience like I know Jake had. Mostly it's just Pastor saying that I am "called." So I will continue to put air quotes around it. Anyway, I have done sermons before, so I enjoy watching others preach. Everyone has their own style. But I fear that I am too flippant when I am up behind the pulpit and that it one of the most unflippant places. I don't know. I don't feel as though I am as serious and everyone else. But, everyone does have their own style (which being told that just makes me think of that kid you always describe as "special" like you know, because they are a little different, but it's just nicer to say special). Like it goes the same with my writing. My brother is an excellent writer, and I thought I was pretty alright, but I suck compared to him. My mom says that we have different styles. Yep, his style is he is good and my style is I kinda suck.

I will be late if I don't go get ready, so you have a great day.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Good Things to Know Things Don't Change

I was cute then and I am still cute now.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen

I give you true beauty...


p.s. there were worse, so consider yourself lucky I only posted these

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Butter, Music and Me

"You're one to talk when you know that
this isn't going right, this is going left."
"You're one to sing when you think
that somebody's listening."
-Ivoryline, Taking Every Chance You Know How

Yesterday at lunch I was talking about butter which, of course, leads into a never-ending rabbit trail. It was a regular "I Can't Believe it's not Butter" butter and so Dixie commented on how it's not the "Promise" butter that they have at the nursing home. So I then started talking about how I didn't think promises were ever kept and how I hated promises. Dixie was like, "Like Marriage?" I jokingly say, "Yep, I am never going to get married or have kids." Enter Krista and Kierra. And so you can see when you come into the conversation at this point, there's no way you're going to know what we were really talking about. But, does that stop them from talking? Oh, no. Krista is like, "You know, I can see you not getting married or having kids." Gee, thanks, guys.

Anyway, I want to you know that even though you may think that I carry around all these problems and freak out and everything, I am not really the girl with a whole bunch of problems. I wouldn't have even told you, but you were standing there. I mean, I don't have it all together and most of the time I feel like everything is falling apart. I don't really think you know me that well. I mean, I understand reading my blog is very insightful for the inner workings of my mind. You probably think that I am dizty, but at least I knew who Ann Coulter is, unlike probably most of my friends. Not that she's amazing (because I told Mr. Ulmer that I think she's an idiot, and he agreed, but her quote did make me giggle some, you know the one about her saying she'd rather vote for the devil than McCain, which is why she'd vote for Hilary), but I am saying that I am not ignorant. Sure, I may laugh like a dizty girl sometimes and my voice can get pretty high-pitched and annoying, but I am not always like that. I can be serious sometimes. I am not the girl with a bunch of problems who just avoids people. And I do very much so love bowling, but I got some studying for quizzing done.

I am making a CD of random music that I like for Computer App., because we have to put music on our websites. And once I take all the music off the CD, the CD will be up for grabs. Any takers? I would totally give it to you for free if you wanted to know some of the music that I am currently enjoying. I would tell you what songs are on it, but then it wouldn't be a surprise. Any takers? By the way, here's the link to my web page. I know, I kinda rock your face off, don't I? (Warning: It looks a little ugly in Firefox, because we use Internet Explorer at our school, so look at in Internet Explorer, because it would just be better than way. Even though everyone knows, Firefox is really the bomb.)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

iPods

We were talking about changing technology in Economics today:
Mr. Ulmer: You guys with your ipods and pea pods...

Monday, February 18, 2008

Shoe Prints and Lockers

So, many funny things happened today. I won't name them all because then I will be able to tell you about them later and then my blog won't ruin all my stories like it usually does. However, April and I were walking to our cars after school today and April was like, "Look at your shoe print." And I was amazed. I had no one how cool shoe prints in the snow can be. So we spent the rest of the walk looking for good snow to make a shoe print in. It was joyful indeed.

Also...
Shamee: Today is awful, I just want to go into my locker and cry for the rest of the day.
Me (pointing to the empty locker in between hers and mine): If you want to go in a locker, this one probably has more room.
(Luckily, she probably knew I was just kidding. I told her that I hoped her day would get better. So don't worry, I am no advocate of people hiding in lockers and crying.)

the way i see it is you have two choice in life:
you can be grateful for everything life has given
you or you can be resentful for everything life has
done to you. your degree of happiness is directly
proportional to the conviction of your choice.
- Enzo D'Alimonte

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Oh, Preacher, Preacher

Pastor Annie. Nope, I may have preached my first morning service, but it still sounds weird. I know, isn't that scary? I have preached my first morning service and first service at another church in the same morning. I am such a multi-tasker. Ha, ha. But, seriously, I was actually quite nervous. I am always nervous. I preached on unbelief. Jeremy recorded it, so maybe I will get it sometime. If I saw myself preach, I would probably be quite critical of myself. Anyway, I am going to be honest, it's really scary, because even though I don't always think I am that amazing, I can see that this is really my calling. And it's scary knowing that God wants to use me in this way. It's scary that I am able to do this and I have no idea where it will take me in my future.

Some conversations with Oakes people after the service went like this (and yes, you'd be so proud of me, not once did I respond thank you to someone telling me thank you):

Lady: So are you with the college?
Me: Nope, I am still in high school.
Lady: So you're a senior then?
Me: (laughs) No, I am still a junior.

Middle-aged Guy: I want to be just like you when I grow up.

I am not going to lie, it's weird having people thank me when I am done with a sermon. Sometimes I feel like they are just thanking me because I am young and not really because I did a good job. Even though I could tell this time that my throat didn't start to close in the beginning, which is good, because I was told that I controlled my nervousness and didn't appear nervous at all. (Minus the comment from the Butterfly Guy). Anyway, I felt I spoke for an appropriate amount of time and what not. Crispy told me I was good and it was his first time hearing me preach. It's just so weird. Of course, I made my mother cry. A couple people came up to me and told me that it was exactly what they needed to hear.

God works in amazing ways. Even through 16-year-olds.

Friday, February 15, 2008

God, the Teacher; Me, the Learner of Lessons

Like I said, our youth group is doing the morning service in Oakes this Sunday. I am preaching. (*gulp*...I have done several sermons in youth group and for evening services in my church, but never a morning service in a different church). I am preaching out of Mark 9:14-27. God's Words are so powerful. I am scared I will mess up what God intended. Right now I am just trying to soak in the amazingness of God. He is still teaching me new things. I am learning that letting go is sometimes the best thing. It's never easy and not at all fun, nor making me happy, but in the end, it will have saved a lot of pain. I want to cry and the feeling in my stomach is very unpleasant. God is calling me to right here, I know it. I need to learn a lot still. And God is teaching me.

"You’ve stolen my heart
Yes, You have!
You’ve stolen my heart
Yes, You have!
You’ve wiped away the stains
And broke away the chains
Yes, You have!
With Your love You set me free
Three nails gave me liberty
So I’ll sing Your praise
My God, I’ll sing Your praise
Oh, with Your love
You forgave my sin
Forgot my past
And brought me back again
So I’ll sing Your praise
I’ll sing Your praise, yeah"
-Leeland, Yes, You Have

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's, Fathers, and Doubt

"Mommy, where’s daddy?
Mommy, when’s daddy coming home?
...I got so many thoughts I don’t know what to say
...And I cried when I saw your photograph
Cuz I thought if you died then that’d be that’d be that"
-Paul Wright, Mommy, Where's Daddy?

Last night in youth group we talked about doubt. Doubt. We broke off into groups and answered some questions. Jeremy made me the leader of my group (which was weird because my group had two people older than me: Jenny and Steph; Erika was also in my group; it was a pretty good group).
Anyway, when it came time for me to share something that I had doubts about, I will be honest, it was hard to think of something. It always seems that somehow questions about anything bad or in the past involve my dad. I explained to my group and I was surprised I didn't cry, because I could very much so tell that I was about it. Okay, I will just be open about it on here, too. I read something a long while ago that was like Christian guys talking about what they wanted in their future wife. One guy said that he wouldn't marry someone unless she had a good relationship with her father. I became pretty upset. I believe I even cried a while. And for some time I really had doubts that I would be able to ever find a husband (not that I was looking, I am still too young, but you know what I mean) because I thought that every good Christian guy wouldn't want a girl who has a bad relationship with her father. I mean, I know that the divorce rate is high and odds of every Christian guy finding a girl who has a great relationship with her father or even having a great relationship with his own father is pretty a lot harder than it used to be. But I doubted so much. I had to come to a point where I had to realize that my future husband will love me for who I am, not who is my father or whether or not I get along with my father. I would like to think I am becoming stronger; I have forgiven my father. My relationship is by no means wonderful, or even slightly good. I don't believe that my father loves me, because I still think you can just say you love someone and then not have the actions to back that up. I hope that someday, when the timing is right, God will bring a godly man into my life that can still love me even though I don't have a good relationship with my father.
I'm sorry. That wasn't a very good Valentine's Day post. Oh well, I don't have a boyfriend, so I don't have to be all happy today. Actually, I am not in a bad mood or even ready to declare today Singles' Awareness Day because I am happy that couples have today. Someday I will be able to be excited about Valentine's Day. Probably not for a while, but I will enjoy it when it comes. I will be bowling on league tonight to celebrate. To celebrate my love for bowling, if you will. Ha, ha. Yep, that's me. Celebrating Valentine's Day with my love of bowling. I am such a dork. You should be so happy that I am your friend. Steph told us that they say kids who grow up hearing their parents fight have better imaginations. I think that's probably very true.

So, Happy Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Not So Pretty Pudding

So, for Science Fair (which is today) the Chemistry class has to make a homemade food product and compare it to a store-bought product. Since you can't do anything from the years before, our choices were a little bit limited. Anyway, my group is doing pudding. So Krista and I attempting making homemade pudding. Yeah, it didn't turn out too well. At least we learned that you should really follow a recipe word for word (so when it says pour some of the mixture into a different bowl and mix in egg yokes, don't just pour the egg yokes into the mixture, it won't turn out the same). Anyway, so we messed up our first try and it looked a little like this:
video-
So we tried to get rid of it. And by get rid of it, I mean pour it out into the alley across the street:
video
In the end, we kinda got the hang of it (however, we still need to learn patience and so when it's not thickening, don't just add the rest of the box of corn starch, it's a bad idea). But despite it looking less than desirable, it really doesn't taste that bad. Ha, ha. You can come to the school Science Fair after school today and try some if you'd like.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Try Something New

I have never tried sushi. I will probably think it's gross, but I want to try it. Perhaps, if I were to try it, I would at least remember what I was wearing at the time, since I can remember what I was wearing when I first tried lobster. I have never tried sushi and I want to change that.

I have never gone snowboarding. I would really like to learn. Sure, I have no doubt that I will fall just about a million and a half times, but snowboarding has always seemed like fun. Yes, I know I am not athletic at all, but I don't care. And yes, I know I don't like snow, but again, I don't care. I have never gone snowboarding and I would like to change that.

I have never been fishing. No, I have no desire to go ice fishing. I don't even really want to catch anything. And I don't care that Krista tells me not to because fishing is boring. I want to at least try fishing, because people give me a strange look when I tell them that I want to go fishing. When it is spring, I seriously want to find someone who can take me fishing. I have never been fishing and I want to change that.

I don't know how to swim. No, no, it's okay, I think I am okay with not knowing how to swim. I am afraid of water. Several people have tried to teach me, but all unsuccessful. I think I should probably just give up. I don't how to swim and I don't really want to change that.

Every I said, minus the last one, I want to change. Okay, so I'm sure I could make a much longer list if I really put some time into it. But I really want to try new things. If you can think of more things that I probably wouldn't think of myself that I haven't tried before, I would love to. If for no other reason than it would make a good story. And I'm all for good stories. Things completely out of the question: Sky diving, bungee jumping, and eating bugs (I did that when I was little). And I have been on a roller coaster before, I can live without having to do that again. But I really am serious. I want to step out of my comfort zone. I want to stop being safe and try something new.

Like the article from Relevent.com, Lindsay Goodier writes:

"so many of us choose to stay on the kiddie rides of life. We settle for the comfortable, for that which won’t make our stomachs flip-flop, for that which won’t possibly cost us our lives. We hop on the non-thrilling rides for most of our fleeting lives, and have nothing to talk about afterwards. Our hearts don’t pound and our palms don’t sweat, because we’re simply moving around in small, predictable circles instead of soaring, unaware of what loops, twists and turns could be next."
One of my favorite quotes is: A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for. (William Shedd) I want to step out of the comfortable little box I am living in and start taking risks and trying new things. So if you could help make that happen, I would gratefully bake you a cake (you can even pick the flavor).

"
It’s time to make a move
Change my fate
Let go all the things that feed my complacency"
-Everyday Sunday, Comfort Zone

Monday, February 11, 2008

Bad Day?

Mondays, English Papers, and Flowers

Oh, Monday. Let me tell you I am not ready for another week. I am still kind of tired, even though I did take a short nap yesterday (Pastor told me that I was a true Nazarene pastor, getting my Nazarene nap and what not).

I left my English folder in my locker, so I have to go to school early and get it before I go to the college for English. I think we are meeting in the library and I should probably make sure. I haven't started my paper yet and it's due Wednesday. I wish I could just skip the class, but on Friday when he was doing roll call, he said my name and was like, "she's faithful, never missed a class." After that, how could I possible just skip a class? So even though we are probably in the library, I really hope we aren't, because I don't even want to think about my paper. I know I should have started a long time ago, since it must be 7-10 pages. But I have bad sources. Ugh.

So, here's a story. Dixie read my blog so I couldn't tell her about forgetting my calculator; my blog is ruining all my stories. Anyway, Friday night I hit my head on the top of my car door opening thing. I must have hit it pretty good, because Saturday morning when I was combing my hair, my head started bleeding, and I was like, "Mom, come here, my head is bleeding." And she looked at me, "Well, you hit your head last night." And then she was worried about me because I didn't remember hitting my head.

I forgot Valentine's Day was this Thursday. I don't really like Valentine's Day. I mean I don't really hate it, I just don't really like it. I have never actually had a boyfriend during Valentine's. Not that it really matters. I mean, it's not the end of the world, hopefully sometime in my life I will have someone on Valentine's. I would just rather go back to forgetting that Valentine's Day is coming up. Just now I am remembering a secret that I read yesterday on Post Secret and I kind of feel like it's the reason no one sends me flowers:

Sunday, February 10, 2008

It Was a Long Weekend

I have a couple things that I should really talk about. Things that came and went, now they are gone (woo, go horrible grammar!). But I should talk about them on here so they can forever be in cyberspace. Or until we get new technology that like inserts the internet into our wrists or something. Then it will forever be in your wrist. Like that lady wanting to put diamond into her wrist on Dr. 90210. Sorry, don't ever watch that show, it's a waste of time. It's about plastic surgeons and then having patients who want plastic surgery. In other words, waste of TV air time. I have only seen one episode. Just thought I'd let you know.

1.) Valentine's Banquet. It was on Friday. So my Friday seemed like a long day. After school I headed to the church to see what I could do. I buttered a couple loaves of bread before Cole and I went to get the balloons filled. Let me tell you, that was a lot more work that I had thought. I am not sure the lady really knew what she was doing, but it was okay. I am glad Cole came with me or else I would have felt more awkward that I already did. Filling balloons with the helium even took longer than I thought it would, because when I got back to the church, I had to go home and change (and get another container of butter). Then back to the church, rush, rush, hurry, hurry, and then people starting coming. It was quite hectic, but things turned out really good. People came. People we expected, people we didn't expect. Including my dad (we have the same nose, well, each of our own, but it's like the same):
It was a good crowd, I must say. And taking the pictures went alright. Food was yummy. Pastor Mike had a good sermon. It turned out and it will be considered a success. Another year of Valentine's Banquets done, only one more to go (since next year I will be a senior). And as for the clean up, well it had to be done. I was pretty tired though so by the end, I was about to fall over. Cole had to just about push me out the door to get me to leave. It helped (not) having Cole tie something to the back of my coat.
Yep, Cole tied a balloon to the back of my coat.
Then I got home, looked at what I need for the ACT and realized...

2.) ACT. I had forgot my calculator at the school. Good thing the janitor is my youth pastor. I called Jeremy and probably sounded crazy. I am kind of crazy. Luckily, he got the keys to the school and I was able to get my calculator out of my locker, but it delayed my ability to get to sleep early. Nonetheless, my alarm went off at 5:00 Saturday morning. I slept for three more minutes and realized I had to get up. I had to take the ACT. Since the weather is not something you can trust, my father drove my mother and I both up to Aberdeen. Ha, ha. We got there at 7:20 and drove around to find the place, then drove around some more because it was too early I felt. Finally, I went in, waited a while. Some girl from Frederick started talking to me. Then we walked in and I was seated. Then the longest test of my life took place. The ACT is pretty boring. It's long, stupid, and important, but super boring. I had time left over on every section, then I worried I did bad because I thought you were supposed to not have extra time. I had to guess on math questions, because I don't really think I took Geometry (even though I did, it says so on my transcript). My teacher didn't really teach me, so I had to guess on every geometry-related question. Yeah, I am sure I did awful on that part. I get my results in 5-7 weeks, but don't ask me what I got, because it is probably bad.

3.) I had something else, but I just forgot what it was. Oh, right. Basketball. We lost last night, so that means that the season is over, no more Annie Student Manager.
I must admit, that's perfectly okay with me. We got home late last night, which made for another long day. I am tired and wish I could take a nap, but I can't because I am soaking my feet in Epsom salts. Ugh. I don't like my feet.

Anyway, some things that are coming up.

1.) The first Saturday in a very long time (okay two weeks) that I won't be getting up at 5:00 in the morning will be this Saturday. Yay. I am so happy. I told Krista that no matter what I am sleeping in. Trevor was like, "even if it's only until 6, it's still sleeping in." Sure is. I am happy. I also have no school on Friday. Yay for no school.

2.) Next Sunday (the 17th) the youth are having leading the morning service in Oakes. I am nervous, I have never preached on a morning service before. I need to find something to preach on. But I will. I don't want to repreach a sermon. I am too young to have to recycle sermons already.

3.) I just wanted to have three things. More to come, I'm sure.

Maybe Later

I have a lot to say.





Maybe later.

It's time for a nap now.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Joys of Getting It All Together

Today is the day. Valentine's Banquet. Which means after school I get to rush around like a chicken without a head to get everything I need to get done done, which I am sure I will continue to think of more things as the day progresses. Right now, the main thing I need to get done is getting all the balloons filled with helium. I don't know how many balloons will need to be filled, but I am making Cole help me. Hopefully they have all the food they need. I just had to call my mom to tell me what was written on a sticky note that was what John was supposed to bring and forgot what he signed up for. Ah, the joys.

Also, The girls lost last night. They play again tonight. But I don't have to be there. So it's okay. They play Saturday only if they win tonight. There is almost supposed to be a blizzard and I have to take my ACT tomorrow. I hope very much so that I will be able to make it. Or else I will be really sad.

I don't have anything else to say, but I feel like a scattered mess.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Decorating, Writing and Not Hiding in Cars

I shampooed my hair twice this morning. On accident. I couldn't remember shampooing my hair the first time, actually, I couldn't remember putting the shampoo in my hand the second time. I was really confused. Then I conditioned.

We decorated for the Valentine's Banquet last night. I hope it all looks alright. I don't know how good I am at decorating. However, Steph did tell me that it was fun watching me run around and be all in charge and that I will make an awesome decorating-for-my-kids'-birthday-parties mom. As for pictures, I feel that pictures are silly. Okay, you see, we take pictures for couples/whoever wants to get them and print them out and sell them to them for a dollar. I don't ever know what to do for a background and I don't really like being like, "Okay, picture on three, 1...2...3" while usually whoever is assisting me does nothing. I would like to just pass off pictures to someone else, but there really is no one else, so I can't do that. So I must take the pictures anyway. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy taking pictures, but I am usually never happy with the background and wish that the pictures could just be better. Maybe this year since Krista and Heidi didn't like my background idea and came up with another one, it will be better. I am told to stop stressing out about it.

By the way, if you are my friend, please don't ever hide in my car to scare me. I will scream so loud and yes, it will probably be funny to whoever is watching, but I will not find it funny. I will be angry and will want to punch you in the belly. And yes, that would probably also be funny for you to see, but I will not find any of it funny. I don't like screaming and I enjoy being scared even less. So, don't do it. Or I will get you back and I don't want to have to resort to that.

I had my English class yesterday and my professor was like, "Annie, what's a sentence that begins with because?" And I am sure I could have thought of many sentences, but I am like, "I don't know." So he continues, apparently unphased that I am stupid, "Because I don't know..." Then Charles finished the sentence, and for him I am grateful. I enjoy my English class at the college, but I will be honest, I often feel stupider than everyone else. Everyone else seems to have the ability to form all these sentences and describe things perfectly. I usually leave that class feeling two things: in a hurry (since I have to hurry to get to my first period class at the high school) and stupid. I am probably the stupidest person in that class. I can't even think of a different word for stupid. Ha, ha... I kind of suck at life, according to April. You see, if you didn't know, I was like the writer in my class. Everyone knew that I wrote poems and my stories in my English classes always got a 98 or 99, because no teacher wanted to give me a perfect. I know that is making me sound conceited, but really, I always wanted to be an author when I grew up, ever since 1st grade. I have always wanted to be an excellent writer and now here I feel stupid, but maybe that's good. Maybe this class is getting me out of my comfort zone so real growth can happen.

I am going to Jamestown today, because we have girl's basketball Districts. I don't know who we play, but we leave town at 4:15. We don't play until like 8:15, which is the last game. I think we will have a little time to spare when we get there. And by a little, I mean we will have like two and a half if not three hours. But, luckily, Erin is filling in for me tomorrow, because of the Valentine's Banquet, but she does book for the guys, so she knows how to and I grateful that she can fill in for me. Ah, well, today will be over soon enough. I have a test first hour today, Algebra II. Ha, ha. Well, I guess I better go start the day...

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

February, Decorating and Car Crashes

"When February rolls around I'll roll my eyes
Turn a cold shoulder to these even colder skies
And by the fire my heart it heaves a sigh
For the green grass waiting on the other side"
-Relient K, In Like a Lion (Always Winter)

So pretty much today is the day for decorating for the Valentine's Banquet. I am not trying to think about it too much, but I wish I could find someway to organize all my thoughts so I could make some sort of game plan. I find a make many "game plans" in my mind. Like, I am going to do this, then dot this, then this, and so on.

I haven't gotten rid of all the Christmas songs on my ipod. I thought I had, but one just tried to play. I refuse to listen to Christmas songs after December. I refuse. I will find this song and remove it from my playlist.

I almost go into a car accident today. Actually, since it's snowed, I can't remember the last time I have been driving and haven't almost got into a car accident. I don't think that's safe. I really do think of stop signs as yields, until someone else is at the stop sign, then I am usually driving too fast to safely stop in time. But nope, they keep driving, even though I will clearly drive into them. One time I was trying to stop and my car did a U-turn, completely, and me, left without any control. Someone want to take me out on ice and let me lose control so I can have the experience and know what to do if it really happened? Pastor told my mom that I should learn, but odds are slim that he will actually teach me. If anyone is willing, they can be my friend. Anyway, I keep getting in almost accidents. Just wait, I actually will one of these days. By the way, with the stop signs being like yields, I cannot slow down at all for actual yields. I am so not a safe or good winter driver. But I still love to drive. I think it's in my blood (my dad is a truck driver and low life, but hopefully that's not in my blood).

My mind will go back to thinking about decorations now. Maybe I can come up with a mental game plan during Chemistry, since I clearly do not pay attention in Chemistry. I'm kidding... kind of.

Frozen

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Happy Super Tuesday

-Annie

Winners, Losers, and Valentine's

I actually watched the entire Super Bowl on Sunday with my mother. I was happy; I wanted the Giants to win. Ha, ha. It was a fun time of my mother and me yelling at the TV. We made picks in U.S. History and only like four or something people said that the Giants would win. That adds to the happy. I also correctly picked the MVP. I was way off on the timeout thing though as well as the amount of whatever those running yards are called.

Of course, after the Super Bowl ended, my mother and I started talking about happiness. My English professor made us write a journal entry about what we thought it takes to be happy. He pointed out how most of the time our happiness depends on someone else's sadness. Like, the Giants winning is great, but that means there also has to be a loser, and you can be sure that Patriots aren't nearly as happy. I am sure that there are times when everyone can be happy about something, but I will admit more often that not our happiness comes from someone else's sadness. Our victories can only come with someone's defeat. I want to be like Paul and learn to be content no matter the situation. I realize that Paul went through a whole lot more than I probably ever will. I want to find something to be happy about no matter the situation. Or perhaps I just really want true joy.

Our youth group's Valentine's Day Banquet is coming up. I am in charge of decorations. I really hope that everything will work out. I really hope the tablecloths don't look as cheap as they are. My mom and I are going to have to go to the church after school today to start trying things out. And to start tracing the banner thing I made for the bulletin board (Jeremy already put it on an overhead, now we just have to trace it out) which will probably take a while because my hand cramps up incredibility easy. I sure how it will look pretty. I still need another string of rope lights. If anyone has them... fork them over, we will give them back after it's over, I promise. I usually enjoy the Valentine's Banquet, but it seems to get almost kind of stressful planning for it. I should just calm down and let what happens happen and deal with it.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Bowling Shoes, Basketball and Jam-Packed Days

Today was a very jam-packed day. Indeed it was.

I woke up at 5:00, got ready, picked Richelle up and headed to the church to leave for Mandan at 7:00. Arrived at Mandan and had a quiz meet. I didn't do very good and hardly anyone was there, while it seemed like hardly anyone. I guess there really aren't as many quizzers as when I first started. I need to study more and the get the information down. I need to just do better than I have the last several months.

Then we drove back and I got to town in time to keep book for both JV and Varsity. I messed up somehow and it's messy to explain, so I'd rather not. Anyway, it was Parent's night (when it came to name tags, since my mom doesn't go, I wore one name tag and April wore the other, so she was my mom tonight) so I got to walk down the hall with Dixie while we danced (because we weren't going to the dance at the gym tonight) and then I got to eat a lemon-square messily like a four-year-old. We took a team picture and Dixie and I hurried out before anyone tried to make a speech.

Then I headed to the bowling alley to say hi to Crispy. He convinced me to bowl a game, though, so I was there a little bit longer than it takes to just say hi. Jake came, so I told him to bowl with us and so it was my birthday present to him. I didn't bowl all too great. But, Crispy gave me a 50-handicap and still beat me by a pin. But it was still a lot of fun and a good way to get me hyper before I had to come home and get some sleep, considering I have to wake up and be at the church by a quarter to nine for worship team practice. Here's my bowling sheet:



And all of this left me with enough time to tell a story to anyone that was around me at the time (which was Krista and John). So yesterday night I was at the bowling alley, but then Trevor came after the game was over to work for me. So I had worked, Bradley came to visit me, and I put on my shoes and bowled a frame while I was there. So I was leaving, driving home and I realized that my shoes felt roomier than I remembered. Then I realized I still had my bowling shoes on... so I drove back. And there I was sitting in my car thinking how I didn't want to walk outside more than I had to with my bowling shoes on. So I was like, hmm... what do I have that I could change into? Ah ha! It was Wild West Day on Wednesday and I always leave things in my car! So there I was, putting my cowboy boots on and walking into the bowling alley unable to stop laughing. I told Trevor about the whole ordeal, took my other shoes and went home.

Friday, February 1, 2008

What I Learned

It's Friday, and if you overlook that tomorrow is the Hawaiian Dance, this week is almost over. Since I love learning experiences, I did learn a couple things from this week, this I Hate Winter Week:

First of all, you can make a poster telling what to dress up like everyday and people will go along with it. I'm actually surprised. While less people dressed up than they did for homecoming, people still dressed up and put effort into their outfits. It's kind of cute, yet kind of silly. I supposed I should have already learned this when our church had a Hunter's Appreciation Sunday where we all dressed in camo. I don't know how many other churches would do that.

Secondly, I learned that no matter how cold it is outside (which by the way, this has been the coldest week so far of not only this year (duh) but like of winter, or at least in a really long time), people still will wear ridiculously not warming things. Like flip-flops or togas, when it's -40 degrees with wind chill. So, since have mad drawing conclusion skills, I conclude that we North Dakotans are superhuman when it comes to cold conditions.

Thirdly, I learned that I Hate Winter Week seemed silly at first, but every week ends eventually, even if it seems to take forever and forever until you die.

The End [of I Hate Winter Week (almost)]