Thursday, June 5, 2008

Garage Sales, Simplified, and Letdowns

It doesn't really seem like Thursday. I mean, I know today is almost over. But all day it hasn't felt like Thursday. It has, however, rained all day. Well, cloudy mostly. It just started raining harder a couple hours ago. I absolutely love rain. The sound of rain, the smell of rain. The feeling that rain washes everything.

My mother is having a garage sale, so I have been helping get stuff together and lie stuff out on tables. I really don't like garage sales, because it really makes you realize how much stuff you really have. I am not sure how I have gotten so much stuff. Actually, I really didn't find much for the garage sale, but still, I have a lot of stuff. I wonder what it would be like if everyone just simplified their lives. I will be honest, I think having new clothes all the time is necessary. But, it really isn't. I will admit that I have too much stuff. I wonder what it would take for me to simplify my life. I wonder how the trip to Africa will change things. Everyone is always saying, "It will change your life." I actually had a dream the other day that I went to Africa and it was a letdown. Like I didn't see anyone African and nothing happened. We were in a hurry and had to leave like right away. It was kind of a depressing dream. I mean, I know the trip won't be like that, but last summer, I went to St. Louis for the Nazarene Youth Conference and it was fun, don't get me wrong, but it was kind of a letdown (and when I had to report on it to the church, I just told a story that made me seem like I am a ditz). I mean, whenever you think something is going to be great, it will be a letdown. At least it always seems like it. I want the trip to South Africa this July (it is getting closer) to be life changing. It want it to make me step back and take a look at my life. I want it to make me think about simplifying my life. I want Africa to impact my life and thoughts. I want Africa to show me the power of God and that His grace reaches every single place in the world. I want this trip to change me.

Speaking of letdowns, last year my birthday was very less than exciting. It was an extreme letdown, actually. I am not excited for my birthday this year either, and it is a little sad. I used to get really mad at people who think their birthdays aren't anything special. And yet, I have come to realize how un-special my birthday is. My birthday is the 16th. Someone tell me something to do to make it exciting. Just so you know, no one has ever planned me a surprise birthday party. So if you want to, I will be surprised, I promise. I will be more surprised if you don't tell me. In case you didn't know the point of surprise parties.

"I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong.
It was a beautiful letdown
When You found me here
And for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clear"
-Switchfoot, Beautiful Letdown

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