I Think (well, Know) God Knows

I am stressed. I am stressed because I am going to Africa. I am stressed because I am going to Africa and I am not done packing (but everything should fit, weight might be the problem, though) and no one really seems to know what we are doing. I am told this is good. That this is better even. That since we don't know what we are doing exactly, we not only have to be prepared for more, we also have to rely completely on God.

I am afraid. I am afraid because I am going to Africa. I am afraid because I am going to Africa and I am not going to be with my mother. (Doesn't that sound like I am five-year-old?) I have never really traveled. (Flying to Canada pre-9/11 doesn't really count, because it is nothing like flying to South Africa today.) I am afraid because I am sure something will go wrong. Something will go wrong and I will want to cry. I will want to cry and people will think I am crazy. Or that I am a baby.

I am a lot of other verbs. However, I am trying to tell myself again and again that God has a plan. God knows. God will take care. God will be enough for every need that I have or will have. God is enough to cover my stress and my fears and my other verbs.

" Mission trips in particular have a way of pushing people to their limits. When you arrive jet-lagged and dazed at your destination to find that your shower spews dirty cold water for only an hour a day, your host doesn’t actually have any cement for the house you planned to build and there is no bus to the village for another three days, you might feel just a little antsy, and you might just take this out on the first person to cross your path. Stop. Breathe. Remind yourself it’s not about earning a medal in the history of Good Church People; it’s about still loving God and your neighbor along the way of whatever comes." -Christine Jeske [source]