Large Groups and Lack of Excitement

"I keep on chasing the wrong things and coming up empty
This isn’t who I’m supposed to be
I keep on learning the hard way from every mistake"
-Mainstay, Become Who You Are

"This feels the same
Complications in different situations
I am holding out for love"
-Between the Trees, Words

Our youth group always has a Valentine's Banquet and I am in charge of decorations. I wanted to be really prepared, so my mom and I started looking for decorations the day after Christmas. At least we can buy red stuff and it's cheap, so great idea. Anyway, we bought some red tinsel. Our church has some fake bushes, so we put some red tinsel on the fake bushes. Now we got mostly all of it off. However, sometimes I am on the stage practicing for worship team and I will turn around and smile. I smile because I see red tinsel. And I never remember to go and take it off after worship team practice. So who knows how long there will be red tinsel on the church's fake plants... all thanks to me.

Tomorrow is Large Groups. Which means the band leaves at like three tomorrow for Oakes. Then everyone in chorus leaves later, but I have to stay because I am in band and chorus. It's never very fun and usually we just get by, we don't do too terrific. Ha, ha. Sorry, that doesn't sound good. I tried to word it in the best way possible, but there really isn't a good way to say that we aren't good. That's the excitingness of tomorrow. Large Groups.

Also this week is prom. Since juniors plan the prom, we are decorating all day on Friday. Then there is banquet Friday night and prom Saturday. Honestly, I am not as excited as I probably should be. I am not exactly sure why I am not more excited. I probably shouldn't even be admitting this. Maybe it's because prom is all of a sudden here and it felt like it was still so far away. Time flies. Ugh. I wish I could just talk myself into being excited. I wish I could just be like "Annie, you are going to be excited" and then bam, the excitement comes. It's a shame life doesn't work that way.

We had no school today, what with it being Easter Monday and all. But I don't really feel like I accomplished all the much today. I cleaned and did laundry, but nothing very productive. I hate days in which I do not get much done. It feels like a wasted day.

I wish there was some way that I could know that I am doing the right thing. I wish I could just talk it out with someone who is not biased about the whole thing. I said that it was my decision and it is and if I didn't want to make this choice, I wouldn't have, but I did, so I do. (Make sense?) Well, I wish I could just be completely honest and talk it out, but I really do feel like everyone has already made up their mind up about it. And probably rightly so. Plus, someone said something. I am sure they were just joking, but it got be wondering if there could be any truth in it. I doubt it.

Ah well, such is life I suppose.