Thursday, March 27, 2008

Thursdays and Lack of Leadership Skills

"I want to be there for you
And be someone you can come to
The love runs deeper than my bones
And I want to be there for you "
-Flyleaf, There for You

Thursdays. A day of the week that I used to loathe. I am not even kidding you, nothing good ever happened on Thursdays. In fact, if something bad were to happen on a Thursday it wasn't a surprise, in fact, it came to be expected. However, I like my Thursdays now. It's one of the only mornings I am not in a hurry in the mornings and I get to bowl on league. Since I am now experienced as a league bowler, I am not just this little kid to everyone there (I am the youngest one there that is bowling though) and I know the right amount of times to wait for people and what not. So Thursday and I have worked it out and we no longer hate each other. Happy Thursday to one and all!

You thought it wouldn't ever happen. Well, you were wrong.

Last night at youth group, we had some much needed talking to, prayer, and some random worship playing. We watched this video. It's weird. I really hate it when people try to like guilt you in to going to the altar and kneeling for so long your legs fall asleep. But it was needed. There are times when you have to come. You absolutely have to come, kneel, and give it all up. Now I will be honest with you, some thoughts that I was thinking about last night were: I really don't think that I am/capable of being a leader. I really think this. Because I am not old enough nor smart enough nor strong personality enough to get people to want to listen to me. When we break into our groups, they either don't pay attention to me or the college people take over. I can't get them to pay attention and I can't get the control back. I honestly don't think that I will ever be able to be a leader. That's why it was hard for me to listen to Jeremy because the entire team I was thinking how much of a leader I'm not and I wanted to cry. I did still focus and pay attention to what he was saying. But you know what, while I really do not think I am a good leader (or leader at all), I do know that I need to follow the real Leader (God) before I will ever be able to be a leader.

In other news, I have been getting headaches a lot lately. Like for three days in a row now I have had a headache. Which is weird, because I very rarely ever get headaches. And I am not doing anything different. I am drinking no more and no less of coffee or anything. It's not been a happy time.

I have been actually listening to Way of the Master Radio lately. Good stuff, good stuff. I'm not gonna lie, it's great stuff. Scripture is so important. I can't imagine anyone who doesn't believe in the power of Scripture. Alright, just thought I would get that out there.

P.S. Don't make fun of me. I am too special. And I refuse to wonder. If I were to wonder, that would be so girly of me. You can never read girls so don't even try.

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